Blinded by the Distraction of Busyness
You can tell a lot about a woman by the jewellery she wears
It was just an ordinary day of shopping that forever changed the way I put an outfit together and now more importantly my life. It was the day I learned the power of simplicity from a brash yet truthful salesclerk. My daughter and I had just randomly walked into a cute little boutique and I was admiring all the new styles of the season. When suddenly from across the store, I heard a loud cry from an impeccably dressed male salesclerk. “ Oh no girlfriend, this is way too much, way too much!” he declared waving his finger up and down my outfit. I had worn a classic black blazer, white t-shirt with jeans, accessorized to the nines. I had bling earrings, necklace, bracelet, gold belt and was rocking high heel pumps (of course!) I was taken aback, rather accustomed to being known as a stylish dresser. Sensing my distress, the salesclerk, now gently leaned in and shared that he could only see my accessories and not the special woman underneath them. Fashion, he explained, is creating beauty from simplicity, and finding a way to be unique and true to your personality without being over the top.
Why is it that sometimes the simplest answers to our problems or situations feel so complex or impossible and come from weird or random encounters? Everywhere we look today stress and anxiety rule people’s lives, fueled by the distraction of busyness. In fact, busyness is worn as a bejewelled brooch of respect stating to others that we are more successful, valuable and important the busier our lives are. How often our conversations are laced with lamentations of being “sooooooo” busy with hectic work schedules, excessive workloads, running with our children’s multiple extracurricular activities or preparing for yet another hot holiday that is well deserved given the pace of life.
I believe and am a personal witness that the disease of busyness has a simple solution, and it begins with this question: Am I enjoying the current pace of my life?
As I reflect on my past, I can clearly see that I was chronically plagued with the disease of busyness. Some of the symptoms that were immediately recognizable were a workaholic mentality, a task oriented nature and a strong desire to be successful (at any cost). They nauseated me, keeping me from truly and fully experiencing joy in my life. I defined my worth with executive job titles and pay scales, the brands of my clothing and by extension even driving my children to achieving high performance accomplishments both academically and athletically.
A part of this busyness is representative of todays fast paced, excessively entertained and materialistic culture. However, truthfully for me, a large part of my busyness was an intentional protective mechanism involving a charade of over accessorizing to appear perfectly put together. Being busy meant I literally kept myself in a position to have no time to emotionally engage with anyone or any circumstance whether past or present that could evoke those unwanted emotions. I whole-heartedly believed the lie that a superficially based life was all I deserved. Intimacy, or “In-to-me-se” as I now refer to it, was off limits, people saw what I wanted them to see and that was it.
A driven career woman, as well as a mother of three active children and physically fit, I loved hearing people marvel at how I was able to do it all! I would smile and nonchalantly explain, “it is all about having good work-life balance”. The uncomfortable reality was that I was totally depleted and running on empty.
My eyes, and for that my matter, my body constantly burned on the inside. I was weighed down with guilt and felt that when I was doing well at work, I was failing as a mother and vice versa. My life was consumed with: stress over this – rush here – now stress over that -rush there, on and on it would go. I became bitter and resentful towards my domestic responsibilities. As a modern day, educated woman I deserved to be served not lowered to serve others …right? I was striving for worldly recognition, to be recognized as a VIP (very important person). I sought to hear others in the world tell me how great I was. Yet, all the while ignoring the soft and steady voices of my husband and children telling me how valuable I was to them.
I did not view my life with an attitude of gratitude. I failed to properly appreciate my home, instead always wishing we had bought the bigger one or planning future upgrades. I would be happier then. Despite closets (three to be exact) of clothes and shoes, I never had anything to wear. A shopping trip would energize me. Another hot holiday or a fun adventure that’s what I needed. I was continually seeking to fill the void in me, never to any avail. Purposefully, I was too busy to ever stop and question why the void existed- until the consequences of all my selfish and self-destructive life choices put my marriage, my family and even my life at risk.
All I can say is that now the love of Jesus in my heart and the continual working of the Holy Spirit in my life are helping me to seek a whole, healed, put together life. I have begun a journey of faith to find my true authentic self, through reading the Word of God, prayer and humility. A significant first step in curing the disease of busyness was a cataclysmic shift in my priorities. I felt God calling me to give up my career and to fully embrace my precious gifts of being a wife and mother. A successful career can provide worldly wealth and recognition, but it will never provide the true riches of nurturing close family ties and loving relationships.
My calling is not your calling, we each must listen to what the Lord is calling us to do individually. I can’t tell you what God is calling you to do anymore than you can tell me. I just know for me, right now, this is the path God has placed me on. For some, I know this drastic step is just not possible, to abandon a career for your family. For others, maybe God is speaking to you through this and you know it is exactly the type of step needed to get right with Him. All I know is, I have never felt more right with Him and with my family, I am truly blessed to be able to do this.
Whatever your situation, we all should stop from time to time to evaluate if our priorities are right before God, seek direction from His word and in prayer, maybe even seek counsel from wiser, stronger, more mature Christians than ourselves. Then make changes to bring more honor to Christ and in so doing bring more joy into our lives and that of our families.
I will continue to seek God in discovering his full purpose for my life. He has given me many unique talents and gifts and I do not wish to waste them. However, in this season of waiting and growth, I am convicted to share how much greater and more satisfying my life has become, as I have unmasked the disease of busyness and with the Lord’s help, I am actively working to heal from it. If you too suffer from being too-so-extremely-or-crazy busy; embrace the cure today found only in Christ. It’s time to master the art of accessorizing both our outfits and lives, which is that less is often more and find the beauty in simplicity again.
Free2bme,
GICorinna
